|
clever_user_name
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Muhammed
Country: Iraq
Gender: Male
Interests: Pretending to be the Iraqi Information Minister.
Industry: Government
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/30/2004
|
|
| My schedule for next semester:
What do the course titles mean?!
Chem 23 - Accelerated Chem, 2 semesters of Intro Chem squeezed into 1 semester. They just get an Indian TA to talk really fast.
Math 103 - Multivariable Calc, exact same thing I took this last semester at IMSA
Egr 53 - I have no idea. It says "Intro to Computational Methods in Engineering", whatever that's supposed to mean.
History 21 - European History to 18th Century. No clue here either but the course got high ratings, and I needed a humanities elective. | | |
| Stealing Jakob's quiz!
x Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. Write
down what it says: "Incline unto our aid, O God!"
.: x Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?: Air
.: x What is the last thing you watched on TV?: Hitlerchannel
.: x Without looking, guess what time it is: 9:00
.: x Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?: 9:18 Damn!
.: x With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: Dad eating sunflower seeds in the next room.
.: x When did you last step outside? What were you doing?: 5:30 p.m. Thursday, coming home for extended. Crap.
.: x Before you came to this website [started this survey], what did you look at?: Somethingawful.com
.: x What are you wearing?: Sweater and sweat pants.
.: x Did you dream last night?: Yes
.: x When did you last laugh?: Physically? Not since I left IMSA.
.: x What is on the walls of the room you are in?: Airplane poster, PC
Magazine poster, clock, painting of dogs playing poker (not that one).
.: x Seen anything weird lately?: I saw a cardinal in my lawn.
.: x What do you think of this quiz?: Whoo eQuiz!
.: x What is the last film you saw?: Fight Club, last week sometime
.:
x If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy
first?: Gas
.: x Tell me something about you that I don't know: I have 11 toes, or do I?
.:
x If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or
politics, what would you do?: Kill all the stupid people (most of the population).
.: x Do you like to dance?: Only if no one's watching
.: x George Bush: Is a walking, talking, legislating, head for the coorporations.
.: x Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: I don't know, what sounds good with Liu?
.: x Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: JAKOB LIU!!
.: x Would you ever consider living abroad?: Only in first-world countries.
.:
x What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?:
"GET IN THE HELL!"
| | |
| OK JAKOB, IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE MY LAST UPDATE AND I'M UPDATING AGAIN. ARE YOU HAPPY THAT I'M ON THE TOP OF YOUR LIST NOW?!
So, Jakob tells me there's a store called "Crate and Barrel". Now I think that's absolutely retarded, but if Jakob says so, it's got to be true.
I wonder what this magical demon store contains? Is it like a crate and barrel warehouse? If so, do they just have the crates and barrels lying around or do they have them stored in other crates and barrels? Then it would be like a giant warehouse of those Russian doll thingies, except in crate and barrel form.
Do they have the crates inside other crates? Or do they have barrels inside crates and crates inside barrels? Although now that I think about it, having a bunch of crates inside one another would be quite impractical. What if a customer wanted only the smallest crate in your inventory? You'd have to crowbar all of your bigger crates to get at the smaller one.
So what if they don't have crates inside barrels but just have empty crates and barrels everywhere? I wonder if they could make money by holding things for people inside their empty crates, though they'd better make sure the crate they're selling to a customer is empty first. Or maybe it's just like another store, with stuff like apples, apple pie, and apple cider inside their crates, only instead of only purshasing apples and apple accessories, you can buy the crate or barrel they're stored in also.
You know what would suck? Odds are "Crate and Barrel" doesn't even sell crates and barrels. Just like how Walmart doesn't really sell Walls and you can't buy giant K's at K-Mart. The thought of this is making me depressed.
I can imagine walking into "Crate and Barrel" and asking to buy a crate. Then they'll be like:
"What?! We don't sell crates, we're a family restaurant."
"..."
"..."
"Well, can I at least sit on a crate while I eat?"
"I'm sorry sir, but that's against fire regulations."
"=("
This entry was typed on Jakob's newly IRN-enabled computer. | | |
| OK JAKOB I'M UPDATING MY XANGA. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW.
Anyway, since everybody's posting their college list, I might as well do the same.
Accepted:
UIUC (Bioengineering)
Case Western (BME) w/ $24,000 scholarship
WashU (BME)
Rejected:
MIT
Waiting:
Duke
UPenn
Now that that's over with, here's the best thing I've read today. Props to SA Goon Soth
One thing that's irked me for a good long while is why the FUCK haven't we switched to the metric system? It's one thing to spell flavor different than the limeys, but sticking with this feet-inches-miles stuff is pure horseshit. Damn near no other country on the planet uses it, but oh, the U.S. have to be beliggerent and stick with a system that makes NO FUCKING SENSE WHATSOEVER. Oh hay guys, an inch is the size of this one dudes thumb, and a foot is, OH MY FUCKING GOD, the length of the same dudes foot.
Even the mile doesn't make that much sense, originally it was (in ancient Rome), 5,000 feet, and was called "milia passuum", Latin for "A thousand paces". Each pace == 5 feet, hence, yeah, you get the picture. Oh, but the British come along and their all, "You know what, fuck the Romans, we're lengthening this shit to make 8 furlongs (at 660 feet a furlong).", or 5280 feet. Now tell me, who in the fuck uses a god damn furlong in this day and age?
Oh, but wait, it gets better, because Furlongs are 10 chains, which are 100 links, which are, approximately, 7.92 inches each. Lord knows this is SO MUCH SIMPLER THAN THE METRIC SYSTEM, WITH IT'S FANCY 100 CENTIMETERS TO THE METER, and 1,000 METERS TO THE KILOMETER, AND ORIGINS TO MEASUREMENTS THAT ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE. OH GOD BLESS AMERICA, FREEDOM FRIES ALL AROUND! | | |
| Zo, Viktor, ve hav zis crate zat floats on zee vater.
Ach! I know! Let us fill it wis zings zat EXPLODE ON CONTACT WITH WATER!
So begins our study of the wonderous crate. No one really knows who invented the crate, but that doesn't really matter. See, before crates, people used these things called baskets. Baskets sucked. First of all, anyone could see, and steal, what's inside your basket. That made it quite hard to smuggle illegal immigrants inside the country. One day, Moses came down from the mountain and said, "Hey guys, let's put some lids on these baskets." And the British, being the calm good humored folk they naturally are, decided instead to cook and eat our poor adventurer. Thus, the knowlege of the covered basket was forever lost. But what does that have to do with crates?
Well, to fully understand the crate, we must also look at his round cousin, Mr. Barrel. See, one day, some other inventor decided to think outside of the box a bit. This guy really thought outside the box. In fact, he didn't even make a box! Either that or he had too much to drink. Nevertheless, we now have the barrel. As every third grader knows, you can knock a barrel over, stuff your best friend inside, and roll him down a hill for shits and giggles. Indeed, that seems to be the only real use of barrels in modern society. Such a shame.
While crates are nice for storing first-aid kits, batteries, and ammo, they are all but useless without the Pallet. Yes folks, the Pallet. No one ever pays him any attention, but trust me, he's important. Without pallets, crates are completely useless. How would you move them into your many warehouses, storage sheds, closets, hallways, underground bases, military installations, and underground caves? That's right, you can't.
So, in summary. Though the crate has no doubt some importance, we shouldn't forget about barrels and pallets. Afterall, where would we be today if it wasn't for those two items? | | |
|
